Everything That Brings A Tear To The Eye Of The Vegemite Deprived.
A few months ago I swapped Australia for London – something you’d know if you’d been following my last couple of posts (you read these intros, right? We’re friends? You’d trust me to care for your low-maintenance cactus?). Luckily for me though, the guys at Forrest Chase HQ allowed me to stay on as their unofficial foreign correspondent, relaying my gripping tales of the people I see in airports and drastic wardrobe culls.
But despite my connections to life down-under through this blog and regular skype calls with my parents (or, more accurately, the top of my dad’s head) there are certain nuances of Australian culture that have me hankering for the homeland. Even in the UK, with such a massive population of Aussie expats, a chiko roll shaped hole in my heart still remains and it’s one that no amount of tomato sauce can mend.
In no particular order, here are 20 things you miss about Perth when you move away.
1. Sand That Squeaks Under Your Feet
Even when that squeak turns into third degree burns.
2. Fresh Food + Big Supermarkets
Wide aisles! Fresh milk! Massive vegetables! Friendly chats with the cashiers!
3. Living Alongside The Sassiest Birds On The Planet
Kookaburras. Cockatoos. Magpies. Dame Edna.
4. Driving 1 Hour And Being In The Country
Pristine, wide opens spaces where no-one can hear you belt out Shannon Noll songs.
Credit: Istock. Boranup Karri Forest, Margaret River.
5. Being Able To See Stars
Strangely, helicopters just don’t have the same effect.
6. Telling Your Friends You HAVE To Go To Fringe World This Year, And Then Forgetting
Take this as your official reminder to book those tickets!
7. Spending Your Friday Nights At The City Hawkers Market
Take a trip to Morocco, Vietnam and The Netherlands all in one night.
Credit: Twilight Hawkers Market Facebook
8. Visiting Leederville And Wondering Why Greens & Co Don’t Just Change Their Name
You-know-what-I’m-talkin-bout, wink wink.
9. Matso’s Ginger Beer / Little Creatures / Strongbow Crisp Apple Cider
The most satisfying of BWS bevvies.
Credit: Little Creatures.
10. Having Mutual Friends With Everyone You Meet
If your boss isn’t your ex-boyfriends uncle, is it really Perth?
11. Not Needing To Pack An Umbrella
I do save on sunscreen though.
12. The Sunday Sesh
And the melodious chorus of clinking rosè glasses.
13. MECCA Cosmetica
♫ Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone? ♫
Credit: Mecca Cosmetica at MYER
14. Pretty Money
In the beauty pageant of currency, we emerge more victorious than 2004 Jennifer Hawkins.
15. Gym Memberships That Don’t Cost You A Months Rent
And just forget about the pilates classes.
16. People Pronouncing Yoghurt Right
Yo-GERT, not yog-HURT. Don’t question me on this, world.
17. Town Names
Watch how baffled your foreign friend’s faces get when you insist Gingin, Perenjori, Gidgegannup, Mukinbudin, Dog Swamp, Innaloo, Pannawonica and Yelbeni are habitable places.
Cue Red Dog heartbreak.
19. Areas That Look Like This
And venomously hating on the family taking FOREVER at the BBQ.
20. ‘No Worries’
as both 1) an acceptable alternative to ‘Yes’, ‘Sure’ or ‘Okay’ and, 2) a way of life.
Procrastinating? Stay a little longer.
We wont tell the boss.